I came across a remarkable moment while I was volunteering at the Boca Raton Children’s Museum on a sunny Friday afternoon early this month. Children are fascinating and can surprise anyone by their early signs of social intelligence. Here’s what happened:
I was watching Johnny, Lizzy, and Maribel (fictitious names) play with a Brio train set. Johnny and Lizzy are best friends (according to Johnny’s mommy) and almost 2 years old each. Maribel doesn’t know them, but is very social for a 4 years old. Although very quite and concentrated while moving the train on the track, Johnny has aggressive moments – first, kicking the track where Maribel was playing and running, second, hitting mommy in the face, when she was talking to him . Bad! Bad! Bad! Needless to say, Johnny’s mom wasn’t very happy and had him sit on a chair while he cried profusely. His ‘best friend’ felt his pain and immediately ran after him to console: ‘Are you okay?’ (Johnny is crying) ‘Are you okay?’ (Johnny is still crying) ‘Are you okay?’ Lizzy insists (Johnny is crying less now) ‘What’s the matter, Johnny?’ (slight crying) ‘Are you okay?’ (no more crying). Johnny ignores Lizzy and go back playing with the train, totally ungrateful as if nothing had happened, while Lizzy walked away with a feeling of accomplishment toward her mom in the other room. After the situation has calmed down, Maribel who was watching the whole show turned to Johnny’s mom and said: “Boys are really gross. You should buy a girl next time.”
Johnny showing signs of dominance, independence, and calculated thinking while Lizzy showing signs of care, concern, and empathy at 2, and Maribel showing signs of social intelligence and consumerism at 4 was mind boggling.
